The Power of Deep Pressure: Seeing My Toddler Ask for What She Needed

As a pediatric occupational therapist, I’ve seen countless children who don’t yet have the words to express what they need. Whether due to age, developmental stage, or communication differences, their bodies often speak volumes when their words can’t.

Recently, I had the privilege of witnessing that in my own 1.5-year-old. She’s not “non-speaking” in a clinical sense—she’s just not talking yet. But in that moment, her behavior looked strikingly similar to what I’ve seen in many non-speaking children over the years.

She was sitting quietly, surrounded by her toys, when she began gathering as many as she could into her lap. One, two, three toys became four, five, six. Soon, they were tumbling off her little legs faster than she could pile them back on. Frustration grew: fussy noises, furrowed brow, the unmistakable signs of sensory need and dysregulation.

To anyone else, it might have looked like a toddler tantrum brewing. But I could see it differently. She was seeking deep pressure—that grounding, organizing input that helps the nervous system feel safe and regulated.

I asked my husband to grab the biggest Squishmallow we had. Turning it into a playful moment, I made it “come to get her,” gently pressing it against her chest, arms, and legs as she sat in her chair. We laughed, she giggled, and I could see her body relax instantly. Within seconds, the frustration faded. She got exactly what her body had been asking for—all without a single word.

That’s the beauty of deep pressure. It’s not magic, but it sure feels like it when you see it work. For so many children, whether they’re toddlers still finding their words or older kids with communication differences, deep pressure can be the key to helping them feel calm, connected, and back in control.

Sometimes, our kids are telling us what they need. We just have to know how to listen with more than our ears.